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Depressed and Well-Dressed

Everyone has bad days

It feels really strange for me to be doing this right now. Mainly because it’s something I am very passionate about, getting mental health out there and more widely spoken about .But also because this is opening up and actually admitting to myself that I have/had mental health difficulties.

Everybody has rough days. Most of the time these are triggered by something that has happened maybe that day or in the weeks before; But the difference between just ‘having a bad day’ and a mental health condition, as outlined by boards such as the World Health Organization in 2018 is for example for depression, more than just a one off, a period of up to two weeks of “having bad days” will lead towards that diagnosis.

This obviously is only one part of getting a diagnosis, alongside losing the sense of enjoyment in activities you used to find fun, lacking motivation and feeling a general emotional numbness. Other symptoms can include lack of sleep or oversleeping and overeating or not eating enough.

But instead of me listing all of these symptoms of depression off like I’m actually writing a manuscript for W.H.O., I’m going to discuss how some of my mental health difficulties have come about and their effects on me.

Without an official diagnosis, I would claim that I have experienced anxiety at a moderate level throughout university and graduate life, and I have suffered depression on and off over the course of four years, beginning during my second year of university, when I started taking the pill for the first time and had my first really painful breakup, alongside a lot of heavy partying and late nights. At the time I was working a lot of night shifts in a job which was commission only; it was very stressful as you didn’t know how much money you might come home with. I also had a mixture of hormones inside me and throughout the space of almost two years I had tried 7 different contraceptive pills.

My First Panic Attack

I remember my first panic attack.

I had finished a shift working as a shot girl and come home with next to nothing, I’d wasted four hours to earn about £1.20 and it was the worst shift I had ever had. I had been having some relationship problems at the time too. The guy I had been dating had been very distant with me as of recent and I was suddenly feeling a lot lonelier than I ever had done at uni. He had told me just before my last exam that he had not gotten into uni in my city and so when he went to uni we could not see each other anymore.  It was only a matter of weeks before things ended in a messy manner anyway and I experienced my first heartbreak. Things just sometimes don’t work out with people and whilst you might understand the practical reasons for it, it can be hard to not let your emotions get the better of you when someone you trusted lets you down.

I was messaging my mum and crying to her about my awful shift at work, and the boy I had been seeing stopped responding to my messages.

 I just felt a completely overwhelming feeling of fear as I sat on my bed crying. I found that my sobs turned to pants and I struggled to take a breath. I couldn’t stop the feeling of panic rising within me, I felt my heart thumping under my shirt and it took me a long time to eventually slow down my breathing and fall asleep.

I have since continued to have panic attacks and over the course of my second year of uni I had them regularly. I had a teeming social life at the time and so I found that drinking usually set them off, either when I was drunk or after feeling depressed for a few days after a heavy sesh I would feel a dark cloud over me.

My studies also set my panic attacks off. They made me withdraw from studying as the more I stressed the more often I had them. I got distracted by dealing with a broken heart from something which wasn’t even a relationship. And I found that often putting down my books or switching off my laptop and confiding in my closest friends over a meal or spending a night out together would keep me distracted from the feelings of misery and panic that resided in me a lot during those days. I have to thank my friends for really being there for me during that time as I pushed almost everyone away and spent the majority of my time lying in bed with the dark cloud hanging over my head; feeling a failure because I had left all my assignments until the last minute and a boy I had loved did not love me back.

I remember those being some very depressing days.

I remember lying in bed with my entire body feeling numb, feeling nothing and everything at the same time. I didn’t feel there was any reason for me to exist and I watched as I struggled to move on from a toxic relationship and resorted to being unable to crawl out of bed, to waking up in the early hours of the afternoon, and neglecting my studies for a night out where I would get so drunk I would pray to feel happy and forget everything for a few hours. I couldn’t even bring myself to get out of bed for food or to shower.  I remember some of my friends coming over and just lying in bed listening to them enjoying themselves and me being unable to pull myself down the stairs to join in because I was entirely convinced that none of them wanted me there. That I was just someone who they pretended to like and put up with if anything. I even remember having a panic attack in the shower because I was so worried they would hear me moving around and my housemates would think I was ignoring them.

I would say that this was one of the worst times of my life; I would compare it to feeling like I had been sinking into a pit of quicksand for the past two months and it felt like there was no way out.

I look back at this and see how much stronger I am now, and I have to thank this period of my life for giving me the opportunity to discover some of my favourite bands including The Smiths and The Arctic Monkeys whom I listened to continuously whilst lying in my bed too depressed to do anything else. It didn’t take much longer into 2017 before I met someone else who was very supportive, and I also had my first counselling session with the University counselling services. Then the dark cloud slowly began to lift.

Start Talking and Be Kind

I think it’s important to recognise that if something is making you feel this way no matter how small you might make it out to be, it is important to speak to someone about it and get help. There is only so far down you can go before these depressive and anxious feelings begin to create a cycle which drag you down even further, and to get out of that I found required an trained outsider’s help, alongside mindfulness.

I think people find it hard to relate to words such as depression and anxiety a lot of the time, because it feels like admitting that you have a condition, that something is medically wrong with you. Even writing this and knowing how I have been feeling, I feel guilty and like an attention-seeking con, and I have to keep fighting the thoughts that other people have much worse problems and more reasons to be feeling depressed.

But this is part of the toxic reason why people do not get help. Why people do not speak out or talk to their friends and family or seek professional help. This is part of the way that we can impact mental health, by talking about it. Talk as you normally would about maybe the weather or your plans for the weekend. Talking is the stepping stone to seeking help. I find it can be incredibly helpful to write out how I am feeling sometimes and read it back, because then I feel a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. So why don’t we do the same with conversations? I know I feel ashamed to talk to most of the people in my life about everything when I am struggling, I don’t want to seem like a dead weight or like I’m seeking attention. However the saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ certainly rings true to me.

And listening is just as important to destigmatizing mental health. Check in on friends you haven’t heard from in awhile, or understand that friend whose been cancelling on you probably is having their own problems rather than it being because they don’t like you. Talking about mental health goes both ways, problems need to be equally shared between people and if the weight is too much or you have been struggling in quick sand then it is important to realise that the best thing to do is speak to a professional.

The aim really is to treat yourself as you would treat someone else if they told you they felt low or anxious. You deserve to be loved and be happy too. You would do anything you could to help your friend if they felt like that, so why should you not treat yourself in the same way?

Be kind to others and to yourself.

(I hope this wasn’t too awful to read for a first attempt at a blog. If anybody has actually read this and wants to ask me a question or anything else at all you can email me at:

emily.sarge2396@gmail.com

thanks for listening, please leave me a comment if you managed to stick through all of that!

Depressed and Well-Dressed- Blog #5

Learning to Say No.

NOTE- Trigger warning- mention of suicide in the last paragraph- If you are feeling suicidal or that this won’t be a good thing for you to read please come back and read my post when you are in a better place xoxo

I feel like this has been one of the most important lessons that 2019 has taught me.  Boundaries have been set this year which I could never have put out in the world or even seen myself doing.

Boundaries are such an important way to be kind to yourself. In the past I have let situations get out of hand or come to an end in a fashion similar to a car crash. I have alienated people by providing them with unfaltering attention and care only to burn myself out and lash out. Or just completely disappear with no explanation due to a sense of deep burning anger and frustration.

I have been irrational and I still am, but I am getting better at noticing what I can handle and what I have to put my foot down to and say no to, for my own good.

If you have made a similar difficult decision which has caused you grief and so much angst and pain I applaud you, you should be so proud of sticking up for yourself and putting your needs first.

It’s all very well being there for other people and of course if you care deeply for someone you will want to do everything in your power to be their light in the darkness. I say this was my naivety that led me to put ex partner’s and old friend’s needs and problems before my own. I tried to make myself some sort of modern day Mother Theresa, dragging all these people out of the dark times in their lives. But when you are left alone and the air is quiet. Your problems you’ve stacked up on high shelves whilst you run around after other people come clattering down. The nails you hammered in to stick them into the wall come loose and you’re left with a mess of your own to clear up, and sometimes this has left me feeling even lonelier because I have felt people aren’t there for me when I have sacrificed myself to be there for them; you end up resenting them. And this I have realised is SO UNHEALTHY.

This Morning

So today I have felt especially bad. One of those mornings when you wake up and the world just feels like it is so heavy and too much to bear. I tried to speak to my mum about how I was feeling, and I realised I feel this great sense of guilt speaking to her about my mental health. I find it really hard not to be ashamed and weak of not being able to cope like an adult with living a ‘normal’ life.

What is a normal life though? We create this idea in our heads that everyone else has their shit together and they’re happy; why can’t I just be simple and find things as easy as that? I find it hard to believe that some of my work friends can just turn up to a job which has made me feel so mentally weak at times and cope with it entirely. Then I am there struggling to even just get out of bed in the mornings for it. There is one positive- I have found myself a new job, in a role which will give me a sense of fulfilment as I will be helping people, but in a way which hopefully won’t burn me out or make me put my problems aside.

The difference I think will be that I know the boundaries, I can literally only communicate with these people who need my help during set hours in the week. I have started to realise in my own personal life also that you cannot change someone else, or make them feel better by doing everything for them. If someone doesn’t want to change then nothing you do will make a difference. I know this because I have been stuck in cycles of repetitive events and behaviour and I have taken steps to try and understand these. This involved me being brave enough to reach out at my lowest point earlier this year, and seek therapy in the form of counselling.

I felt so lost and stuck in all these thoughts and behaviours and I still feel so trapped at times. But it really helps to have an outsider’s perspective, not so much in my counsellor giving me her opinion but just having someone I can objectively explain things to, who can relay it back to me in a matter-of-fact way, giving me the chance to process it more clearly. I don’t think I would be making progress like I am if I had tried to fight this battle alone.

Learning to be kind to yourself

I am learning to set boundaries before things become chaotic. Knowing you need time out to re-gather yourself when you’re feeling burned out is so important. I have felt wrecked with anxiety this morning so much that I keep bursting into tears.  I have had little to no appetite for weeks and when I have eaten I have felt sick halfway through. I haven’t had enough sleep and it has taken its toll on me. I have rushed about what with it being my birthday and done too much. I’ve loved seeing all my friends but I now just need some time to rest.

I also put things to bed with my ex a few weeks ago, which has really dispelled some of the anxiety I have been feeling. I no longer feel a panic grabbing at my chest when I walk around in public, worrying that I am about to bump into him and that he or his friends hate me. This was heightened by the fact I hate wearing my glasses and so I keep thinking when I am in public that I have seen him, only to put on my glasses and realise I have not! It sounds pathetic especially with it having been so long since our breakup, but I have really struggled with feelings of anxiety since. Social media is a curse when you go through a breakup; it is so easy to share only a piece of a story in as few as 140 characters (or is it more on twitter now???) or post on Instagram thinking ‘I wonder if they’ve seen this and how well I look like I am doing?’ when the reality of things is far from it.

I have been coping with grief for my Granddad alongside everything, which always resurfaces at the strangest of times when I feel like I’ve moved past it. I have also been trying to deal with other mentally unwell family members who I feel lost in how to help. This year has really tested everything I was.

I feel like I should be ending this blog with a positive message but you know what? Sometimes things do not need a positive spin. Sometimes it’s bloody okay to not be okay!!! It’s healthier to accept and understand how you’re feeling than try to bury it because even if you do for awhile, left unresolved it will always re-emerge. If you have attempted to understand where it comes from then you will be better equipped to have strategies in place the next time it crops up.

TRIGGER WARNING- mention of suicide.

Happy Place

I have just started listening on Spotify to ‘Happy Place’, a podcast show by Ferne Cotton in which she speaks with people from all walks of life including celebrities. One podcast involved speaking with Poorna Bell, whose husband committed suicide a few years ago, and her experience of living with someone with depression which they intermittently masked before taking their own life. However horrific her story was, it felt comforting to hear someone else talk so openly about all the emotions they felt, particularly before her husband committed suicide. The feelings of angst and frustration mixed with the love she still had for him, and how that was something I could relate to in the past in relationships and with my family problems, that I can still relate to. I would recommend listening to the entire two series I have thoroughly enjoyed them, and found when I am feeling anxious I can pop my headphones in and just focus on a conversation about someone other than myself and my issues.

Thank you for reading, and please if anything I have said has affected you in any way, speak to a loved one or if that feels difficult, contact your local Samaritans at 116 123 its free to do so x

Depressed and Well-Dressed Blog #4

Blog 4- Embracing Change

I should be proud of me. Although I don’t feel like it, I should. People make mistakes, I have made some huge errors and behaved in ways I am really not proud of in the past, but I recognise these unhealthy patterns and thoughts and I am trying to change. Some things have been bringing me down recently.

I recently found some old text conversations between me and an ex boyfriend, and I was in shock at how horrible I was. The messages made me ashamed at my reaction to an argument and it instantly made me hate myself. My reaction, as my friend reassured me, is only the very tip of the iceberg. So yes, maybe what I said was 100% out of line and I was being selfish and mean, but what had led to this outburst?

It is very easy to take behaviours and words we say at face value and not look at their deeper meaning. It is so unbelievably easy to jump to conclusions and think, no it was all the other person being the problem or maybe even believing I am solely to blame for all the issues in what was an unhealthy relationship.

But that’s never really the reality.

We all have our reasons for doing things which we may look back on and regret. And it is important that we simply accept that our actions are a result of many obstacles and variables and not just simply- I reacted that way because I’m a bitch.

I was out of order in some aspects, I have a habit of letting things slide that bother me. I am an expert at bottling it up to keep the peace, then when it all becomes too much one small thing sends me over the edge, I end up looking like a ‘psycho’ because I am overreacting about one minor inconvenience.

If I could apologise and it not open a can of worms which should be left alone then I would. Things went on for way too long, and it was a stupid decision to allow it to continue.

I have left this relationship struggling to like myself. I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression a lot more and with my current job, I am struggling to find my place and purpose in the world.

Maybe being in a relationship gave me some sort of sense of purpose? That I was needed by another individual and that fulfilled me, but things became sour and I was left feeling unhappy in the end. There comes a point when you have to put your foot down and say enough is enough, I have to do what is right for me. And I do blame myself for not being more clear and accepting too much because I felt deeply for this person. I am still learning my own worth, and I have to thank my ex for teaching me that I am worth more than I credit myself, even if it’s been one of toughest choices I have had to make. I have to look after myself now, and work out who I am and what I want to do now I have graduated, and who do I want to be?

What I am learning to accept is it doesn’t matter if past me screwed up and the things I’ve done/people I have hurt- if I can learn from it and grow as a person then I can turn these negative experiences into a positive outcome. I can better myself.

Its Not Always Easy to Simply Be Better

At the moment I feel incredibly lonely. The worst part is feeling like nobody would honestly miss you if you disappeared from their life. This is something I have struggled with on and off every week for the best part of six months. It is exhausting being awake when I feel like this. I have lost enjoyment in so many things I used to love; a lot of things just don’t bring me pleasure anymore. It sounds pathetic, but my brain is telling me that I am not worthy of love, I am not deserving of nice things or happiness. And what can you do when your own mind is telling you to give up?

Realizing that things which used to work for me as a student no longer serve me a useful purpose as a graduate is tough. I can’t simply go out every other night like I used to, because I have to work to survive now. I can’t just quit a job I hate, because I wouldn’t be able to afford to live. I can’t go spend time with my friends because they’re spread across the country and I simply have no time anymore. I feel so trapped living a life that I don’t want for myself, I want to do more and make a difference, but my mind is telling me that this is as much as I deserve. I am at war in my own head.

To the part I have kept saying I would include- mental health apps:

To finish on a more positive note, I did find a good app with some podcasts on it. I would recommend ‘Sanity & Self’, an app designed to give you advice on how to cope with everything from mental health, sex, healing from breakups, to getting what you want from a job. One of the podcasts I listened to was called ‘How to Not Give A Fuck’, and attitude I am trying to work on!! It is an app mainly for women, but some of the content is definitely relatable to others too. The only downside would be that without paying for a monthly subscription, you get very few free podcasts. Being a poor graduate working in a minimum wage job, I simply can’t afford to subscribe alongside Netflix, Amazon Video and my rarely used gym membership!

My mentality this year-

Anyway, that’s all for now, if you have any recommendations for other apps for me to try leave a comment for me. Thanks for reading.

Depressed And Well-Dressed #3

Getting real with myself.

Post University Depression

I am growing every day. I will succeed and I will get to where I want to be. The first step to achieving your goals and progressing onwards to positive things is to recognize the toxic parts of your environment and yourself.

This process is something I’m only barely beginning to understand after four/five years of living by myself away from home.

It’s not easy, having to address those pieces of yourself which you hate. Nobody wants to focus time and energy into the parts of yourself which make you unhappy. But one of the biggest lessons I’m beginning to come to terms with is at the end of the day only I can affect me and my future. I can choose who I let into my life, what I do with my life and how far I can go.

I often find that I have all these great plans of where I would love to be tomorrow, in a month or even a year’s time.

Part of my depression which I’m feeling at the moment comes from expecting too much too soon. Nobody talks enough about post-university depression- it is real, and according to a recent study in the UK, 49% of graduates suffer with it. Why isn’t there more help in place for people in my position? Because it is totally normal to not do something straight away with your degree- you finish working your ass off and for what? £50k of debt, three years of alcohol abuse, and a degree which you can’t use because you don’t have enough life experience!

It is learning to slow down which has been a challenge for me. Now without the distractions of university, etc I’ve been left with a clean slate to make something of myself. But how do you know who you want to be if you don’t know who you even are?

I am starting to admit to myself that I have used nights out and drinking as a way of escaping my situation as I think most students tend to. I am trying my hardest to cut back on this! But when you’re feeling lonely and someone wants to go out it’s either be alone at home feeling sorry for yourself or go out and socialise.

When university finishes you lose your second family. It’s a very isolating time and I have really struggled with not having my support network of friends there with me, I really feel grateful however to have met such an amazing group of people and be lucky to call them my lifelong friends.

The big question I’m asking myself is~

What do other people actually do with the time they’re not drinking, making a fool of themselves and suffering in bed with a hangover the next day?

For me the main reason apart from obviously avoiding hangovers for slowing down on nights out is to help me cope. Alcohol is a known depressant and now I have no uni work to do and a job where I don’t get the chance to really progress or use my brain leaves me feeling disappointed in how my life is going. For the last ten years of my life I have been in education and studying, working my brain and learning. Now I just feel like I’m drinking to forget and I’m not stimulated.

Naturally your thoughts start to wander to places you would rather they didn’t go to- you invest in other activities or peoples drama.

Alcohol has affected my grades, my friendships, relationships and financially too.

I am the problem.

I’m starting to realise you can’t run from your problems, especially when you are your own problem.

I haven’t been the best version of myself, I’ve hurt some people and pushed away others and it can be hard not to hate yourself when you know you’ve messed up.

So I’m drinking less, cutting toxic ties to people who I once thought were good for me, I’m clearing my life of all negativity and starting afresh. Of course this comes with its own drama and trauma but it’ll be worth it in the end is what I keep telling myself.

And I’ve been learning new things about myself- I am changing. Whilst dealing with a messy breakup, my poor Granddad passing away, family issues, having been sick with mumps and losing half of my friends to graduating, I’m beginning to come out the other side. I’ve learned what a strong fucking individual I am- I’ve dealt with all of this and yet I am still here fighting.

I am trying to be kinder to myself. At the end of the day you and only you have your own back first and foremost. It’s not easy though- there are times where I do slip up, where I will go out drinking or I’ll say something I later regret. I’m only young, and it is okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. For example, a breakup teaches you what you do and don’t want in a relationship and doing a job you sometimes don’t enjoy tells you what you do and don’t need out of a job.

I am fed up of feeling extremely low when I drink, not just when I drink too much but feeling like there is no point for days after. I have to remind myself that my depression and anxiety do not make me who I am.

                I will be okay- it’s just going to take time.

What I want whoever is reading this to take away is that it’s okay not to be okay. (Classic mental health phrase there lol) but give yourself a break! You’ve made it this far, and if you’re feeling down you are allowed to express it. As long as you don’t to the extent it takes over your life. Make yourself happy first before anyone else- and even the mistakes you make will serve as life lessons which will shape you into the person you are meant to be. Don’t hold onto anything that doesn’t make you happy. Look after yourself.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Sorry if this was dull to read, but I felt like I needed to get honest with myself by writing this. It’s a big step for me to post this and I’d appreciate any advice or feedback. Hope it’s not too cringey. If anyone has any advice on how to get into mental health work or even an app that’s helped their mental health previously I would love to know.

Depressed And Well-Dressed ~ #2

Intro

Going from what I discussed with you last time I had the idea that what I would like to be the outcome of writing Depressed And Well Dressed is that somebody feeling depressed or anxious can possibly relate to some of my own stories of mental illness and realise they are not alone and not the only person whose experienced it, and that it can get better. And that most importantly depression, anxiety etc are just that- illnesses. Just because a person acts a certain way or thinks certain thoughts does not mean they are inherently good or bad, it is the action which is good or bad and mental illness can sometimes have a strange effect on what we think, say or do.

Obviously there are limits to this line of thought- and if someone else’s mental health begins to affect yours then it is probably time to take a step back. Learning to live and maintain a healthy psyche is all about being kind first and foremost to yourself.

If you think of when we go abroad on holiday, when the stewards stand in the aisle and show you where the exits are, how to inflate your life jacket and start your oxygen mask, they tell you to always fit your own mask before attempting to help others. Without making too much of a leap what I’m trying to say is within day to day life we should aim for a similar perspective. How much help would you be on a plane without oxygen to anyone if you didn’t start by giving yourself a flow of oxygen? So ask yourself- how much help can you really give someone who is suffering if you yourself are fatally suffering?

Enough with the cheesy metaphors- promise~

A lesson I’ve found probably one of the hardest to learn in recent times is that if you are struggling, other people cannot always be there for you to support you. There is only so much your friends can actually do for you. Everyone has their own problems in life and what depression can do is take away the rational ability to see that just because someone has left you on read or hasn’t replied to your message but been active on social media or even cancelled plans with you doesn’t mean they don’t care. It certainly doesn’t mean that you are not worthy of love and support. You cannot be of use to help someone through mental illness if your own mental wellbeing suffers alongside. I’ve learned this lesson myself in the hardest possible way, and it goes to show that it does not matter how much you give to another person who is suffering, how much you sacrifice for them, it is not your duty to protect their mental health. You can be there for someone as a friend, family member, boyfriend/girlfriend and sharing problems is healthy but if it begins to affect you long term then you should not feel obligated to stay and let yourself be exhausted.

The Other Side

From the other side- having been both the person giving support to someone and being the person craving that constant support it is difficult from both perspectives.

You feel incredibly isolated as it is and I can recall not wanting to leave my bed to socialise or avoiding going out with friends because I felt that they did not care for me. You never know what is going on inside someone else’s life, but depression tells you that it is something you have done, and that people just tolerate you and don’t actually want to hang out with you. That just makes you isolate yourself even more, and sometimes people around you might pull away when you begin to which just perpetuates these feelings. Sometimes your friends may reach out to help you, but the way you feel can serve to push them away which in turn leads into a self perpetuating cycle of you then believing even more than people do not want to be your friend and thus you can become more depressed.

Catastrophising

Aaron Beck, a famous psychologist in 1976 mentioned that depressed people tend to have a cognitive bias- that is a skewed opinion of themselves, the world around them and what the future entails. A few types of these cognitive biases include black and white thinking (i.e. thinking everything is either right or wrong) and over generalising such as making a sweeping statement about all occasions based on one negative outcome; For example- thinking that because one relationship ended with cheating, all future relationships will.

A third type of cognitive bias is called catastrophising.  This is something which is commonly found in the build up to panic attacks where you believe almost absurdly that one setback is catastrophic to your future and everything has been ruined.

Catastrophising is a form of thinking I often recognize in my own head and it’s so frustrating to notice when you’re doing it but have absolutely no clue how to switch it off. If anyone has any suggestions please leave them below for me!!

I often turn one small minor detail into a whole shit-storm of anxiety because I over think, to the point where the feelings of dread I feel outweigh any of my rational thoughts about the unhealthy way my brain is processing things. Sometimes I’ve found this to be the beginning of a panic attack and if only I knew how to break the cycle I would.

I’ve found in the past that distracting yourself by calling a friend often helps me. However because of how depressed I’ve been feeling in the past few months I don’t a lot of the time feel that I can reach out to people by calling them. What I’d say is by talking to my friends and explaining how I’m feeling I have found people to be a lot more understanding than my mentally ill brain allows me to think!

If anyone else has any coping methods for dealing with catastrophising and overthinking please leave a comment- I often find as well that walks somewhere with nature where it is quiet, or being around animals helps to distract me.

Thanks for reading!

I hope this wasn’t too cringey to read- please let me know if there’s anything to be improved on. I’m thinking of starting a section where I’ll try out different types of mindfulness apps and reviewing how I found them- if that’s something you would be interested in me doing please leave me a comment!

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